Who are you?
What are you interested in?
What are your strength and weaknesses?
Do you know what you want out of life?
Do you have goals or dreams? A path in life?
What brings you joy and makes you happy?
If you’ve answered, “I don’t know” to any of these questions above, you’re not alone! In fact, you’d be surprised how many people don’t know these answers about themselves. That’s why taking these 5 steps to self discovery is so important. Unfortunately, not knowing yourself can lead to a world in which you simply exist, but aren’t happy or present in your life. This can lead to going down uncomfortable and dangerous roads in life. Including doing things to simply fit in, possibly getting into drugs, etc. It can also affect your life with relationships. Knowing and implementing these 5 steps to self-discovery is a way to keep you from going down any dangerous roads. It’s also to help you build a stronger, more centered YOU.
Begin Your Self Discovery Journey
Self-discovery is a very important journey that everyone should take the time to invest in at least once. I’ve met so many individuals who navigate throughout their life wearing a mask and hiding who they really are. Some to the point that if they take the mask off, they have absolutely no idea who they truly are. They don’t know what they truly want, how they really feel, and what makes them happy.
Unfortunately, this is more common than one would think. At some point in life, we all tend to wear a mask, but we know who we are under it. Others, simply wear a mask to conform to what someone else wants them to be. Whether that is a parent, child, friend, partner, etc.
Only the journey of self-discovery will allow you to figure out who you really are. What your purpose is in life. What your potential really is, and how/what will genuinely make you happy. Failure to discover yourself denies you the opportunity to grow, mold, and understand who you are.
When you have no idea what your core values, beliefs, and goals are, you’re more than likely adopting values, beliefs, opinions, and goals from other people like your friends, family, partner, colleagues or kids as your own. It’s a safe bet that your emotions and decisions are also being dictated without you even realizing it. This means you have no actual idea of your personal boundaries and if they’re being violated by others in your life.
Learning your core values and boundaries will allow you the opportunity to not only be there for your friends and family as a support system but to also be there for yourself and learn to count on yourself for support when you need it. It will allow you to grow so that you’re not dependent upon anyone else for comfort, love, and dependency, but instead you’re open to those things from someone else.
There’s a fine line between feeling you need someone for comfort and love and opening yourself up to someone for comfort and love. One allows your partner to have control over you and puts you in a position to be run over. The other invites them into your life and heart, but you don’t lose yourself and you don’t depend on them without wanting to.
Upon learning who you are, and what you want, you will be able to attract the right people into your life and remove the toxic people from your life that are simply draining your bucket, so to speak, and not putting any positivity back into your life. As they say, you are the company you keep! Truly knowing yourself, your desires, and your values will give you the chance to take a step back and evaluate people in a different light that will help you decipher if they’re beneficial and compatible with your life and what you want out of life.
So, where do you start on your self-discovery journey? The first thing you have to do is step out of your comfort zone and ask yourself some questions. Grab a notebook and a pen or pencil and jot down the below questions and answers to open your heart and your mind so that you can start somewhere. You should continue asking yourself these questions every few weeks to see how your answers are changing as you start and continue your self-discovery journey. Below are 5 steps to self discovery. I hope these help you as much as they helped me.
Step 1: Clarify Your Core Values
The first part of your 5 steps to self discovery is one that really hits close to home for people. It’s the one that requires digging deep within yourself to find out what it is you value. While you’re questioning yourself from various angles, ask yourself what your personal values are. A few examples of core values are loyalty, compassion, respect, consistency, commitment, honesty, generosity, etc. Determining your core values will give you an image of who you are and will even help you know what to look for in friends and relationships.
It’s important that the way you live your life is a reflection of your core values and fundamentals. If not, you may not only sabotage yourself, but you will have a hard time recognizing if the people you’re interacting with have these values as well. The idea of self-discovery is not only to know who you are but help you become the best YOU that you can be and reach your highest potential that you have.
Step 2: Get to Know Your Likes and Dislikes
Knowing yourself will give you a lot of confidence. It will allow you to feel strongly that you know who you are, and no one can change your mind. It’s common for people to adapt to the likes, activities, opinions, and feelings of others when we’re easily manipulated or trying to fit in with a particular crowd or spouse. Some people spend so much of their life trying to fit in, that they truly have no idea who they are, what they like, and what gives them joy. Take the time to get to know what you like and don’t like and don’t listen to the input of any family or friends. This will help you realize what activities make you happy, what you love, and what you can get rid of from your life to make you happier.
While you want to find out your basic likes and dislikes like favorite color, tv show, books, movies, etc., be sure to dig deeper. You also want to ask yourself what you like and dislike in a friend or potential partner so you know what and whom to avoid. If you continue to live your life fitting in with others and unhappy, you give away a part of who you are. Eventually, you will start to resent yourself again. Stay true to your likes and dislikes, and you will be happy emotionally and mentally.
Step 3: Journaling and Bullet Journaling
Getting to know yourself through journaling and bullet journal is extremely helpful for a lot of individuals who internalize their thoughts, feelings, and emotions. This allows you to not only get your feelings out but your thoughts and frustrations as well. Bullet journaling is also not just a great place to release your inner demons, but it also lets you explore your creativity while doing something constructive to benefit you. You can have either one normal journal and one bullet journal, or multiples of each. I currently have a regular notebook journal, a work bullet journal, a school bullet journal, and a life/daily bullet journal. As you can tell, I love bullet journals.
Although I am not creative, they allow me to TRY and be creative, while better organizing my life, thoughts, feelings, work, and to-do lists. My personal journal allows me to put pen to paper and release all the hurt and pain that I feel inside at various times. I often put quotes in my life/daily bullet journal, including affirmations and bible quotes that touch me. If you’re a spiritual person, you may also benefit from a spiritual journal in either normal notebook format, a bullet journal, or one of each.
As you write in your journal, you’re connecting to your inner thoughts and feelings. It’s allowing you to be vulnerable and express yourself without judgment, which will give you a place to be completely honest. Letting these thoughts and emotions out gives you a place to look back on and reflect. You can learn more about your emotions, weaknesses, strengths, fears, and areas that you didn’t even know you had. This is a great platform to help you grow and heal.
At the bottom of this article, I will link some of the tools I bought from Amazon to start my journaling journey, as well as the updated tools I’ve used since I started.
“Discovering who you are today is the first step to being who you will be tomorrow.” Destiny’s Odyssey
Step 4: Find and Try New Hobbies and New Things
Trying new hobbies, activities, and other things like new foods or places to hang out expands your comfort zone and your mind. In 2016 I started working for a new client and became friends with a few of my co-workers. Not only did they expand my taste pallet by inspiring me to try new cuisines, but they also helped to broaden my music and movie tastes as well. If that wasn’t enough, I tried a few new hobbies like crocheting, knitting, blogging, video games, crafts, and Mexican train dominos.
I now play Mexican Train Dominos twice a week with neighbors, I video game and stream with co-workers, I blog, I make jewelry and try small crafts, and I crochet from time to time. So, as you can see, not only did I expand my mind and comfort zone to try some new hobbies, but some of them stuck with me because I enjoyed them! Every week or two I order from a new restaurant or I order a new item from the menu of one of my favorite restaurants, so I can expand my pallet. I have found quite a few I like! I also found out, there are more wines in the world than the Moscato I always drank.
Trying new foods, music, movies, hobbies, books, and activities allows you to grow as a person and learn more about yourself. You will be surprised what you didn’t know you would like, and what secret talents you may have been hiding all your life. Now, you don’t have to try as many new things as I did if you don’t want to but give yourself a chance to start trying new things and see where it leads you. You could end up loving some of the new experiences as I did.
Step 5: Discover your Passions and Purpose
It’s important to determine what you want out of life and set up goals to work towards achieving it. Without having a direction or purpose, you can start to feel like you’re driving in circles, with no destination in sight. Figuring out your purpose in life, as well as what you’re passionate about, will allow you to feel full, happy, and provide you with the start you need to procure a happy future.
The best way to start this journey is to get a pen and paper (or possibly one of your journals from Step 4) and write down a list of things that you love to do. Write down topics/activities that you’re passionate about. Then, jot down things you would like to achieve in your life. Once you see these things jotted down, you can start a plan to achieve them. A great tool for this would be a mind-mapping tool. I use Mindmeister.com for my mind mapping online.
Self-discovery is not something easy that’s going to happen in a day or a week. These 5 steps to self discovery is a way to get the ball rolling. It’s something you will have to continue to work at, and there’s no accurate time frame of how long it will take you to build a relationship with yourself. In fact, as you continue throughout life growing and changing, you will still be discovering yourself. Your inner self is going to change and evolve all the time. As you mature and learn new skills and develop new interests, you will be gaining more insights into who you are, what you like, and what you deserve.
The more that you know about your inner thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and yourself entirely, the more empowered and happier you’ll be. A clear understanding of who you are, and what you want, will result in a stronger core within you. You will have a feeling of peace and restored confidence. Bring that amazing person out of you that we know is sitting scared in the corner, tangled, a mess, feeling hopeless. Let’s bring her or him to the light, shine some greatness, and find your happiness. YOU deserve it.
P.S. If you enjoyed reading this article or found it useful, please consider sharing it on your social media. Thank you, kindly. <3
Here are the tools I’ve used and currently use for my Journaling and Bullet Journals:
This is the original bullet journal that I started with. This is my second favorite bullet journal that I’ve used out of all the ones I’ve purchased. I love the cover of this bullet journal and the feel of the pages. They aren’t stiff, but the color of my pens didn’t bleed through so they also weren’t too flimsy either.
Click Here to get this bullet journal
This is the first set of pens that I purchased (and I still buy them – they’re my second favorite ones)
Grab these affordable starter pens
These are my favorite notebooks out of all the ones I have tried. I know they’re a bit on the cheap side but, I enjoy the spiral! I am constantly in my bullet journals because I use them for EVERYTHING. So, these notebooks allow me to flip through my pages seamlessly without hurting the binding.
Click here for these amazing notebooks
These are my favorite pens! They are a bit heavier though, so keep that in mind. I use these on all of my journals and I am in love with how they write and the colors.
Click here for my favorite pens!
These are the first set of colored pencils that I got, and I still use them. I enjoy them over the normal Crayola because of the variety in colors but to each is own.
Grab these colored pencils for your bullet journal!
Typically, I use these notebooks for school and work and absolutely LOVE them! I showed one of my friends, and she fell in love with it too. This notebook has a hardcover and the first page has a double-sided pocket for papers. The paper quality to me is great. It’s a unique notebook, and I just love using it. The price on Amazon is higher than I paid at Target, so you may want to shop around.
Click here to get the best Notebook ever!
This was my first, and still favorite, personal journal that I used for my spiritual journey. I turn to it often when talking about my feelings and thoughts also. It’s very beautiful, strong, and the perfect size to write in bed with.
Click here to get this Footprints poem personal spiritual journal
This is the washi tape I use to decorate my pages. I prefer blue, green, white, black, red, and yellow. However, there are TONS of washi tapes you can find online that may fit your preferences better.
Click here to get this rainbow set of washi tape
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